The C-PTSD Journey

 When you adults open your mouths about the joy of marriage, it just kind of sounds like some sorta sick commercial. In fact all I …

DISCLAIMER: This article contains explicit content, read at your own discretion. Hey guys! How are you doing? So some things I wanna say. I go …

The way those two things didn’t line up just made things more confusing, and my feelings more conflicting. I felt so alive because I ruminated, thinking till my brain hurt, about nothing and everything, and getting nowhere. But at the same time I felt so dead, nothing felt real, everything had a hypothetical, suggestive feel, yet was so vivid, almost psychedelic.

“I want you to know that you don’t have to handle it alone.

If you look closely you’ll see that the sky is not a boundary. 

Not at all.

It isn’t there to keep you locked in.

It in and of itself holds so much depth.

It expands forever, holding the sun the moons stars and clouds all in one breath.”

This week I’m featuring poem and simplistic-expressive artwork made by a friend of mine. I was kinda tiered this week (first week back in school …

“The setting for the dream was uncannily the exact opposite of a place in one of my fantasies/daydreams, in every respect. They say that bad dreams are manifestations of your fears, or things you keep locked up. So if my daydreams are the opposite, that would make them manifestations of the things I desperately want, and the things I am deprived of so I compensate for.”

I’ve been to purgatory and back, And it’s not at all what you’d think I wasn’t tortured with complex machines Or anything of the sort …

Your memory and experiences become fragmented…You can’t process a traumatic memory properly, so you can’t file it away with the rest of your experiences as you normally would. So instead you just push it to the side so that you could function.

I remember feeling that way even from a young age. I was just a pair of eyes, witnessing but never taking a stand or reacting, and that’s all I was at the time.

“Your panic response in relation to such individuals is overactive, but also deficient in some ways…Because you’ve been done wrong before, in such a severe way, you processed your experiences differently, as a trauma, such that your whole nervous system and response to potential threats has been altered…Needless to say, there was a need for that at the time, but now it’s… an emotional inconvenience.’