The Things I Know About What I do not Know

The way those two things didn’t line up just made things more confusing, and my feelings more conflicting. I felt so alive because I ruminated, thinking till my brain hurt, about nothing and everything, and getting nowhere. But at the same time I felt so dead, nothing felt real, everything had a hypothetical, suggestive feel, yet was so vivid, almost psychedelic.

Dreams; a Portal or a Mirror

“The setting for the dream was uncannily the exact opposite of a place in one of my fantasies/daydreams, in every respect. They say that bad dreams are manifestations of your fears, or things you keep locked up. So if my daydreams are the opposite, that would make them manifestations of the things I desperately want, and the things I am deprived of so I compensate for.”

The Interpersonal C-PTSD Panic-Button-Pressing-Poison

“Your panic response in relation to such individuals is overactive, but also deficient in some ways…Because you’ve been done wrong before, in such a severe way, you processed your experiences differently, as a trauma, such that your whole nervous system and response to potential threats has been altered…Needless to say, there was a need for that at the time, but now it’s… an emotional inconvenience.’