I’ve been to purgatory and back,
And it’s not at all what you’d think
I wasn’t tortured with complex machines
Or anything of the sort by any other means
The day I got there I was gifted a palace of gold,
Anything I could have I got,
That’s what I was told
I was given fertile steady ground
To plant anything I’d like
And on days I felt confined I could enjoy the natural scenery
And go for a hike
But one thing I soon realized,
When wishing to join the birds in song
I could not talk
Though I was given a voice,
A mouth,
And a tongue
So I could speak,
Yet had no way to express myself
And find meaning in my words
Till this day no one understands how that felt
Because it sounds absurd
Yet the things left unspoken
Make all the difference
When sitting in my palace,
The second day I was there
I realized the land was not my own
This realization gave way to fear
But that didn’t last long once I met the other inhabitants,
And we had a nice exchange
But then I woke up the next day
To pitiful sounds of pain,
I looked out the window and saw
That from the sky fell acid rain
And the people looked up,
With a blank expression when they saw me there
Then that gave way to screams
Of the rain they feared
It burnt a million holes
Through their clothes and skin
Without their clothes
It was revealed the extent of their sins
And the times when they’d misgive
And the burning skin underneath
Showed me how they hurt
I tried my hardest to invite them inside
So they could get relief from the pain
But the more I tried
The more helpless I felt
For a sound would not come from my mouth
My expression remained blank through everything I felt
I wished to tell them that I knew what they were going through
And to tell them not to be ashamed
Anything to reach out
And lessen their pain
But to no avail
And ever harder it rained
And every hole in their clothes
And all the millions of marks burned into their skin
Became the millions of words I couldn’t say
Became the words that my mouth refused to put in
They saw me,
And I saw them
And all the words unsaid
Became a barrier
Unbreakable
From my mouth to the inexpiable thoughts in my head
And I swear on that day,
All the acid holes
Burned into my heart
And are their till this day
The next day I awoke
To the sound of flames
They were marching through fire
Silent as could be
I felt things I couldn’t understand
Then I could hardly see
Maybe it was the fire reflected in their eyes
Reflected of my heart
And blinded me
They were silent and so was I
Even though we were seeing the same things
And all the things I couldn’t say
About how I’d experienced what they felt
Became my tiresome burden
Yet even I couldn’t understand how I felt
And my eyes of burning flame
Became the only thing that was real
Everything else I could no longer feel
Were artificial
Because my heart, mouth, mind, body, and soul
Did not process what I saw
The fire in my eyes was the fire they felt
Their eyes became blackened burnet from what they saw
Over time I saw many unspeakably treacherous sights
And treachery became my life
I’d try to plant,
But to no avail
The ground would not give way
The fruits grew rotten
And the vegetables were made of air
Till this day,
When the past is far behind
I want to reach out
To start to unburden myself of the things I couldn’t say
When having to sit their and silently watch
Day after day